Reflection

This is not even really an angry vent, I would say more of complaining and indulging a bit in some self-pity. I just feel like things are slowly declining in the sense of my depression and anxiety. Which listen, I understand I have my part in it. I should think more positive, get out more, push through and get over it, I undrstand all those things. Just sometimes it would be nice to hear " I understand things are hard now, and that's a really shitty situation". Not those stupid encouraging cliches masked with judgement and self righteousness. I don't need to hear that I need to chose to be happy; no fucking way how did I not think of that one. I don't know what to do anymore. I mean even my therapist who is paid to listen to me doesn't help. I don't think anyone can understand the feeling of depression and anxiety without having endured it themselves. The feeling of something just not being right, nothing specific, just something is off. Having fleeting thoughts constantly of suicide, but nothing serious enough to be of concern. Just being in a constant state of melancholy. I don't even have a good reason at this point. I don't have to motivation to do anything about it though, so fuck it. This just sucks so much and I feel completely lost and alone. End of self-pity and annoying complaining.
Piglet